Olive Garden of evil

By Kylie Wakefield
Collegian Staff
December 6, 2006

I hate the Olive Garden.

It is the epitome of America’s problems, beside, you know, crimes, drugs, warfare, debt, genocide and pollution. Oh, and Last Call with Carson Daly. Golly gee whiz, do I hate Last Call with Carson Daly.

But in all seriousness, my hatred is mainly fueled by everyone’s infatuation with the disgusting food served in Olive Garden restaurants around the country. Through some stroke of luck, Americans have taken a rather fond liking to the eatery. It’s filled with families munching away at this “Italian” food, choosing not to care about how harmful this kind of lifestyle may be.

I recently had the unfortunate experience of dining there. My friends regretfully persuaded me that it was to be a satisfying meal. Aside from the horrible service (our waitress was shockingly rude), I found that I couldn’t even stomach the food. First, we were served buttery breadsticks and a huge salad bowl. The salad consisted of iceberg lettuce, a few vegetables and was smothered with some Italian dressing.

Additionally, I found it disturbing that the Olive Garden serves salad and bread before the meal. It may lead Americans to think they are actually eating healthily. In fact, the opposite is true. The salad dressing contains almost as many calories from fat as a McDonald’s hamburger. According to the Daily Plate, the hamburger edges out the salad 80 g to 72 g.

And, although the bread is quite appetizing, the overpowering amount of butter doesn’t exactly do the body good. Plus, do we really need an unhealthy drink (I’m sure most Americans are ordering alcohol or soda), salad, bread and an entree, let alone the endless possibilities regarding desserts?

I find it insulting that on Olive Garden’s menu it states one may request a nutrition table to see how unhealthy one’s food is. Already, it has been shown the Olive Garden’s healthy selections are anything but. You don’t need a chart to tell you that. And still, people are going to eat the food, even if they are aware that it’s clogging their arteries. People will still make up excuses to consume this fatty food. It’s a way of convincing themselves that it’s OK, even on special occasions (like during the Olive Garden’s super season of pumpkin cheesecake), to provide their bodies with a fabulous heaping of damaging delicacies.

Lastly, Olive Garden is way too overpriced. You’re paying $11.95-$16.95 for a meal that’s going to add up and slowly ruin your body over time. Why not just go to McDonalds and do it for cheaper? Ninety-nine cents for a hamburger that helps you put on weight and simultaneously contribute to America’s obesity problem? I’m sold.

I beg of you, don’t eat at the Olive Garden. Take this suggestion as seriously as possible – think of this food as a threat to our National Security. Do yourself a favor and save your time and money. Who knows, staying away from the Olive Garden may prevent heart failure. Even if you can’t resist that pseudo-Italian food and atmosphere, try. I care because I believe in you, America.

wakefieldk1@lasalle.edu