75 years later: has anything changed?

By Anthony Gigantino
Collegian Staff
March 1, 2006

A lot has changed in the 75 years since our beloved Collegian was established in 1931, during the heart of the Great Depression. In this glorious anniversary issue, we have the opportunity to reflect on history and ask ourselves the age-old question: “Did we learn from the past?” On behalf of the devoutly dedicated and clinically insane staff of Team Commentary, I ask, “Is 1931 different from 2006?” Here’s the tale of the tape.

1931: Pierre Laval forms the pro-Nazi Vichy government in France.
2006: The bird flu kils 15 swans in France.
Lesson learned: Still, nobody likes the French.

1931: The Castellemmarese Wars among the Italian La Cosa Nostra Families ends with the establishment of the Five Families after the deaths of Joe “The Boss” Masseria and Salvatore Maranzano.
2006: Liborio “Barney” Bellomo and 32 other members of the Genovese Crime Family are arrested in New York City on various charges.
Lesson learned: Crime doesn’t pay—you’ll still end up dead or in jail.

1931: The St. Louis Cardinals defeat the Philadelphia Athletics four games to three to win the World Series.
2006: Some Phillies fans believe the team has the potential to reach the Series this season, as long as the entire New York Mets organization dies in a plane crash.
Lesson learned: Phillies fans know it doesn’t pay to be optimistic. Summer of the Blue Snow, anyone?

1931: Helsinki, Finland opens a new House of Representatives.
2006: Finland places second in the men’s Olympic Hockey games in Torino.
Lesson learned: Has anyone met someone from Finland within the last 75 years?

1931: NBC broadcasts experimental test transmissions from the top of the Empire State Building.
2006: The Peacock spends two weeks broadcasting more modern experimental transmissions: lobe-numbing Olympic sports like curling, cross-country skiing and ice dancing.
Lesson learned: Experiments don’t usually work.

There you have it, folks. Based on my observations, absolutely nothing has changed in the 75 years since the Collegian was birthed. I hope we all enjoy the next 75 years in complete boredom, as apocalyptic preachers tell us the world is ending and we’re going straight to hell.

giganta2@lasalle.edu