Bullied Jerseyites speak out (but still can't drive)

By Suzanne Guerin
Collegian Editor
March 1, 2006

I never regretted deciding to go to college in Philadelphia. I love exploring the city where Benjamin Franklin flew his famous kite (St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church now stands on the site), and where the Eagles are dinnertime conversation year round. But, there is one part of going to school in a state outside of my own that constantly irks me. I am continually required to defend my home state—New Jersey. Everyone has heard New Jersey jokes, humorous, mocking little quips, but has anyone ever offered praise of the Garden State? Well, I promise, it does exist.

Praise for the state can even be found in the depths of the Collegian office. One staff writer noted, “Sure, you can mock Jersey for its toxic waste, but in the end, it’s breeding a stronger race—we’ll survive. Even if it’s just us and the cockroaches.”

Jersey is more than just a state—it’s an attitude and a way of life. Popular author Janet Evanovich notes this in many of her novels. She is a prolific writer who recently published a series of numerically titled works which take place in the ‘burbs, specifically an area known as the Burg, the suburbs that immediately surround Trenton. The novels are proud of the state, and repeatedly note the suggestion most states call the speed limit and the jughandles that are distinctive of Jersey roads.

While densely populated, New Jersey’s small size adds to its charm. One quick train ride on the Mid-town Direct offers passengers a trip from the uniquely urban New York City into the heart of suburbia. Perhaps the best thing about New Jersey, though, is the diner. You’ve all heard of them, and many of you have even been. There is nothing greater than the 24-hour New Jersey diner. Come on, you have to admit how wonderful it feels to sit in an eclectically filled room, eating food served by an overly tattooed waiter, food which is saturated to its leaking point in grease.

New Jersey is also home to some very high-quality corn. While most people don’t think of New Jersey as an agricultural center, much of the western part of the state has a thriving farming industry. It’s not just about the tomatoes.

Peer pressure from other members of the Collegian staff has forced me to note the following: it is also the home state to the most successful hockey team in the northeast over the past 10 years. The New Jersey Devils won Stanley Cups in 1995, 2000 and 2003. Can’t say that about the Flyers, Rangers or Islanders.

Look upon our offspring, all ye mighty, and despair! Keep your Franklin, Philly. Thomas Edison has granted you the luxury of reading things after the sun goes down or your candles burn out. California can keep its Beach Boys—those of us who live in the buffer zone in the middle of Philadelphia, New York and a sea invasion by the British have Asbury Park, the birthplace of the sweet, sultry melodies of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. Baby, we were born to run.

We have beaches. What do you have? Scads upon scads of people packed like sardines in a tin can, swarming over Broad Street, Market Street, Madison Avenue, Fifth Avenue… Congratulations, Philadelphia—you might have countless cheesesteak vendors, but our boardwalks offer countless opportunities to interact with thousands of people, and enjoy an atmosphere that is virtually impossible to recreate.

So, next time you’re cruising along the Parkway, stop at one of our historically named rest stops, or pull off at one of the exit numbers that we proudly use to denote our hometowns—you might just see some of the greatness Jersey has to offer.

guerins1@lasalle.edu