Stewart/Colbert ride comedy ticket to White House in ’08

By Jo Anna Van Thuyne
Collegian Staff
November 1, 2006

With the release of the film Man of the Year, the question now is “Could our country be run by a comedian?” The youth of America gets a lot of their news and political information from the likes of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, according to CNN.com. I think these two should pull together and run for the White House.

Let’s look at our current president. Stewart and Colbert’s idea of casual humor only ends up making President Bush look like a blubbering fool.

Stewart has hosted The Daily Show with Jon Stewart since 1999, managed to grab nine Emmys and has a religious following. No really, it’s true. A group of individuals started worshiping Stewart, and they made a Web site about it. So, if the nation is so adamant about following President Bush’s invisible line between church and state, then Stewart could easily run this country. He has his own religion. He is a god himself. We wouldn’t have to worry about “What would Jesus do?” Stewart would just know right away.

As for Colbert, well, what service hasn’t this man given the country? Colbert has introduced the world to truthiness. The term describes “from the gut” journalism that only a genius like Colbert can delve into. On the debut of The Colbert Report in October 2005, the anchor used the phrase akin to George Orwell’s “Newspeak” in Nineteen Eighty-Four. Colbert defined truthiness as “what I say is right and [nothing] anyone else says could possibly be true,” in an interview with The Onion’s AV Club in January 2006.

In addition to pioneering phrases, Colbert knows what is a danger to society and who to watch out for. He has also put the Toronto Raptors, The British Emptier, “Business Casual” dress down days at work and Barbra Streisand “On Notice.” Most importantly, Colbert has put grizzly bears “On Notice.” The United States has been worrying about terrorists when these bears have been running around like maniacs. Colbert has done the country a great service by bringing real issues like these to our attention.

With Stewart able to grab the attention of every paranoid religious figure with his own religion and Colbert delivering truthiness with a powerful punch, the United States would be in good hands. Well, I guess you could say that Stewart would be president and Stephen Colbert would be VP, considering Stewart has been a fake news icon for longer. Don’t worry, Colbert could always run for president after Stewart and other Daily Show correspondent Rob Corddry could tag along for the vice presidency.

So I leave you with this: I pledge allegiance to fake news on Viacom’s Comedy Central, and to The Daily Show, for which we watch, one nation, “On Notice,” invisible, with sarcasm and truthiness for all.

vanthuynej1@lasalle.edu