K-Fed up with celebrity couples breaking up

By Melissa Mongi
Collegian Staff
November 15, 2006

With divorce rates higher than marriage rates in the United States, I strongly believe that most of this percentage comes straight from celebrity divorces. I always hope for the best when a new cute celebrity couple comes along. Sadly, they always let me down.

Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise were the beautiful Hollywood couple I felt could last forever. Now, he’s off being crazy somewhere with Katie Holmes.

Right as I got comfortable reading gossip columns about Brad and Jennifer, they were divorced and Brad was canoodling with Angelina Jolie. To my dismay, reality television couldn’t help Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. Nevertheless, I found comfort in the marriage of Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon and, poof, divorce court for the not-so-happy pair.

Does anyone stay together anymore? Will there ever be a day when entertainment icons are also models of marital bliss?

I have always been a hopeful romantic, even when the best of couples have broken up. That is until the news of this past week. On Tuesday, Nov. 7, cupid smacked me in the head with his arrow and told me to grow up.

How could I have been so naive to think they would last? The entire day I could not eat, do school work or even smile. Nothing could make me forget—Britney Spears and Kevin Federline were getting a divorce, and I was left alone in a world where true love could not stand the test of time.

They just seemed so perfect. When they were first seen together in 2004, I thought nothing could tear them apart. Shar Jackson, Federline’s then-pregnant girlfriend, tried to get K-Fed back, but not even his unborn child could separate the Spears-Federline pair. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

Spears and Federline exchanged vows Sept. 18, 2004, in front of a surprised gathering of about 27 people. They shocked their family and friends, but not me. I knew they were made for each other. Or, I thought I did.

Although fans criticized the couple, I saw their commitment to one another when they premiered Britney & Kevin: Chaotic. The reality show depicted the modest footage they shot of each other in the early days of their relationship. The show led up to their beautiful wedding day. It assured Spears’ fans that they did not need to worry; she was in love with a classy man. Federline, with his sideways hat and permanently exposed boxers, expressed his love for Spears somewhat intelligently through the night vision effect on his camcorder. True love.

When the pop icon gave birth to baby Sean Preston, I could not have been happier for K-Fed and B-Spears. Even when she bounced the newborn on her knee while driving, and the media criticized her, I knew it was Spears’ keen maternal instincts kicking in. She had always been able to multi-task. I bet she was burping Sean Preston as she parallel parked. Can we say Super Mom?

Soon after, Spears announced her second pregnancy, and Jayden James was born Sept. 12, 2006. With parents like that, he is one lucky baby.

There were some rough patches in the relationship. The tabloids called Federline a partier, but everyone needs to let loose sometimes. It can’t be easy living off of your wife’s music career and having a male nanny, or “manny,” take care of your kids. To punish her partying man, Spears sent his sports car back to the dealer. That is just the way one must deal with a spoiled husband.

Meanwhile, pregnant Spears cried on Dateline to Matt Lauer about how it’s hard to be married with children in the media spotlight. Soon after, Spears posed pregnant and naked for Harper’s Bizaar magazine. This was her way of fighting the good fight for her privacy because posing naked always defers media attention.

Sure, Federline had gone from pizza-delivery boy to dancer to Mr. Britney Spears, but he was not just after her money. What he really dreamed of was a rap career. His first single, “PopoZão,” got me grooving. The album, Playing with Fire, was released this past Halloween. Sadly, K-Fed was burnt out before he began, and Playing with Fire peaked at #151 of the Billboard 200. Who cares if his first-week sales reported in at about 6,000 copies? K-Fed would always have Britney. Well, at least until Nov. 7.

K-Fed is now “Fed-Ex” and is in the middle of a divorce amplified by a custody battle. Spears had some smarts in getting a little thing called a prenuptial agreement, but K-Fed wants more. K-Fed does not need custody of his children with Shar Jackson, but he needs custody of Spears’ babies. This is just one more indication of his true devotion to Spears and their children.

Spears is K-Fed up, and I just do not understand why. K-Fed could move up on the Billboard charts, and then Ms. Spears will feel really dumb for leaving him. They should have stuck it out for my sake. What couple can I look to now? If those two love birds couldn’t make it, who can? If a back-up dancer and a pop queen aren’t meant to be, my only conclusion is that marriage is a hoax.

mongim1@lasalle.edu