The South speaks

By Cory Anotado
High General of the Educational Compendium of Southern La Salle
October 18, 2006

Historian's Note: In times of war, some of the most interesting writing produced is propaganda. We’ve seen sterling examples of effective propaganda in our country’s history, possibly the most effective being used during World War II. Reproduced below is a speech delivered by High General Cory Anotado, supreme commander of the Educational Compendium of Southern La Salle’s military forces. The speech was delivered in the week following the Great Land Grab of 2007, in which North Dorms claimed the Union as its own. Other documents show that the general’s sentiment in his speech was shared by his countrymen. Pay special attention to his recognition of harmonious exclusivity—his is the only writing to acknowledge the concept. This speech was written by the general’s secretary and donated by the Anotado family to the institute.

My fellow soldiers, I come to you today with a proposition. For many years, we have shared this bountiful, blessed land that the Lord has blessed us with North Dorms. For the most part, our lands are separated, and we live in harmony. This harmony is kept intact by exclusivity; that is, our borders are defined and mutually respected. A gentlemen’s agreement, if you will. An agreement that, until most recently, has been honored.

There have been many advances in our fine land in recent history. Growth in our confederacy has flourished over the past years. The number of residents in this great land has increased dramatically and thus has encouraged economic growth in numerous ways. We have facilities to help our citizens in their endeavors in health, wealth and wisdom. There is food for all our citizens, and supplies for everyone to live comfortably.

Our way of life is threatened. There is a strip of shared land in our fine estate, one which is normally called “the Union.” And it is there, dear citizens, where the problems begin. It is a meeting place for citizens of both the North and the South Campuses to come together and congregate, with the intention of peace and harmony.

And chicken fingers. Yes, dear friends, one of the things that our dear confederacy lacks is the chief export of a strip of the meat of a chicken, breaded and fried. It is a rare delicacy, akin to the caviar the North Dormers speak so fondly of. Our finest chefs and culinary experts have yet to even crack the recipe that the cooking masters of the Union have so expertly achieved. It is cause for alarm that many of our citizens turn their backs on our fine dining establishments in order to obtain these morsels of tasty deliciousness.

It seems that because the Union is much closer to the Northern territories than it is to the Educational Compendium of Southern La Salle. For that reason, those citizens in the North cite the Union as an ally to their own cause, resulting in an unnecessary and imaginary siding of this obviously neutral land.

Most of you will not see the problem with this. You may see it as innocent, or possibly even beneficial. The feigned friendliness, however, is going to eventually lead to the Southern downfall. We cannot cater to the North Dorms for one sole export. We cannot cater to the North for any reason. We must renounce their divisive ways and fight! We must fight for our way of life!

This is a battle that I am confident our numbers can win. We must prevail in this fight, for our motherland, our people and our pride. To keep ourselves pure and true to our Southern selves is our first and foremost priority, and by taking over the Union, we will make our presence known! We shall prevail!

anotadoc1@lasalle.edu