Salt vs. pepper: A look into the complexities that are seasoning

By Kylie Wakefield
Collegian Staff
October 18, 2006

I’ve never liked pepper. In fact, I hold a strong conviction that it’s the worst spice ever created. It doesn’t smell good; it doesn’t taste good; it makes you sneeze; and, it downgrades once-delicious food.

For example, it takes away from french fries (or freedom fries – whatever floats your boat). Every time I eat at Ruby Tuesday’s, the chef insists on spreading this disgusting seasoning all over my delightfully tasty treats. Either the chef is ignorant towards the fact that pepper is a big no-no, or he/she is simply a masochistic food preparer. I always make it a point to tell the waiter about my preference against pepper, but I sometimes come off as sounding too much like Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. I try to justify this to my fellow diner, but he/she doesn’t always understand that pepper is one of my few enemies in life.

Now, salt, on the other hand, works on everything. It’s perfect for french fries, chicken, mashed potatoes, cooked carrots and even cantaloupe. Is pepper a good combination with thousands of delicacies? You bet your taste buds it isn’t.

Supposedly our tastes change as we get older. I’ve experienced this with all different kinds of foods, from onions to pistachio nuts. But pepper is something I will never like nor respect (right next to tomatoes). Is pepper something you’d throw over your shoulder for good luck? No. That’s because it’s evil.

Going back to the french fry debate – anything is better on them than pepper. Take, perhaps, some Old Bay crab seasoning. I can even stand some vinegar or perhaps a bit of honey mustard. Ketchup is great, too – oh boy, how I loves me some ketchup. I once saw a Hot Topic-esque saying that stated “I eat ketchup on my ketchup.” I couldn’t believe how well that described my attitude towards my favorite condiment. Salt and ketchup are a wonderful combination for fries.

But my disdain for pepper doesn’t stop here. You know those perfectly packaged take-out baggies that contain salt, pepper, a knife and a fork? Because the retailer felt the need to include the terrible spice, the whole contents of the bag smell and even taste like pepper. If I put the package in my purse, everything in it will eventually smell gross as well. It’s really quite annoying.

Therefore, salt is infinitely better than pepper. The two do not deserve to go hand-in-hand, that is, unless they’re singing “Push It” (a reference for “all you fly mothers” out there). Attention pepper lovers, I’m sorry, but do yourself and your taste buds a favor: leave the pepper in the middle of the table and sprinkle on some extra salt. While this may not be the healthiest decision, at least your food will be that much more satisfying.

wakefieldk1@lasalle.edu