Su-do-koo-koo-ka-chu

By Melissa Mongi
Collegian Staff
October 18, 2006

I go to lunch, and there it is. On the train, in the library, in the classroom, there it is – Sudoku. Everywhere I turn, someone is inevitably playing the Japanese puzzle game and I hate it. The art of playing Sudoku is something I have yet to figure out. I have become quite complacent in my hatred for the game, and it would take an army of Sudoku lovers to change my mind.

Sudoku uses numbers, but no mathematics, or so they say. The game is played over a nine-by-nine grid, divided to three-by-three sub grids called regions. Merely discussing this makes me feel as if I am in a ninth grade geometry class. Sudoku begins with some of the grid cells already filled with numbers.

According to everyone I know, and their respective mothers, all you have to do is write the numbers one through nine and get them in every row without repeating them. Simple enough for some; much too complex for this soon-to-be college graduate.

It gets worse. A number can only appear once in a row, column and region. Upon trying to figure that out, my eyes glaze over and I find myself re-reading the directions more than once.

I have known since grade school that I am mathematically challenged. The second I see numbers I panic a little. Once numbers are placed in regions and little boxes, my brain shuts down. I tried to do an online version of the game (to save my pencil eraser). After a good five minutes of staring, thinking of possible solutions and daydreaming about the last episode of Lost, I gave up. Even the online hints could not help this Sudoku failure.

Sudoku stimulates the mind and improves memory, according to studies. Also, it can stop and prevent brain illnesses such as Alzheimer’s. Sadly, I will not reap the benefits of these Sudoku mind exercises. From now own, whenever I forget my I.D., I’m blaming Sudoku.

When referencing my dislike of the game I can’t even say its name properly. Something about having three vowels, two of which are the letter “u,” perplexes me. Su-do-ku? So-doo-ku? Su-do-koo-koo-ka-chu? I can’t take it. Not only is this a game of numbers and skills I clearly don’t have, I can’t even say the name of my game-nemesis.

I might just start an organization for those who hate Sudoku. We can do fun things that don’t include numbers, rows of boxes and fancy Japanese names. For fun, we can burn Sudoku books. Or, forgetting about the club, I could go on with my life and leave everyone else with their snooty Sudokus. Maybe I’ll pick up a nice crossword puzzle with its clues and words—something I can handle...or can I?

mongim1@lasalle.edu