Don't take my Pluto away

By Jo Anna Van Thuyne
Collegian Reporter
September 13, 2006

Oh, dear, sweet Pluto. You are no longer just Pluto; now, you are 134340 Pluto, the largest dwarf planet in the Solar System. It pains my heart to hear this. I love you, Pluto, and if there was something I could do for you, believe me I would. You were my favorite planet. No one knew much about you, and that’s why I liked you.

I know all of you are laughing at me, thinking,“Why do you care so much about Pluto?” Well, I do! I do care about Pluto! Whenever there was a science project involving planets, I would always chose Pluto. Yes, it was hard to find all the information on the planet. My mother would yell at me, and ask why I chose such an arbitrary planet. I didn’t care though. I still did every project on dear, sweet Pluto. I didn’t care that it was smaller than several moons in our system, or that its moon – Charon – was as big as the planet itself. It didn’t bother me that Pluto didn’t completely follow a simple orbit. Pluto was different; Pluto was special! So are you scientists going to sit there and tell me that all of my projects went to waste and that all of those hours of research have amounted to nothing? Huh? Is that what you’re saying to me?!!?

So now all these scientists are demoting you. Spitting on your name and calling you a “dwarf” planet: an ice dwarf. Now you’re listed with the likes of Ceres, Xena, Orcus, Sedna, Easterbunny and Santa (yes, there are dwarf planets named that). How dare the so-called “intelligent” people of the scientific community categorize my favorite planet with those freaks!

Pluto, they’re even saying that Charon isn’t your moon, but another dwarf planet! They want to take away your moon too? What did you do, Pluto? What did you do to deserve this horrible treatment?

So, what’s next? What else is science going to ruin for me? Are they going to categorize Johnny Depp as an android or David Hasselhoff a gnome? I swear science, you’re being a total buzz kill. Leave Pluto alone! Let him be a planet. You know, just because he’s different and mysterious doesn’t mean you have to shun him. I mean, if he’s walking around the solar system listening to his iPod, carrying his iBook and wearing aviators it doesn’t give you the right to put a label on him. God.

vanthuynej1@lasalle.edu