Talk shows bring knowledge, hope

By Liz Tabasko
Collegian Staff
January 24, 2007

After 14 years of Catholic education, I have enough knowledge of prayers, church etiquette, proper morals and sentence diagramming to last me a lifetime. But there were gaps left in my preparation for the real world. Nowhere in my books did I learn how to elongate my eyelashes, lose five pounds (without giving up chocolate, I mean) or make a dish of chili in 15 minutes. Trashy magazines and daytime television to the rescue.

With more free time than I know what to do with at college, I took to watching talk shows in the morning while I got ready for class. Soon, I was going out of my way to make time for my morning and afternoon shows. If the hosts were my family, Dr. Phil would be my overbearing father who consistently lectures my friends about how poorly they are living their lives, and Oprah would be my sassy mother who always has inspirational stories and ridiculously expensive presents for no occasion (e.g., a new car for coming home to do laundry). Rachael Ray would be my cool big sister who can whip up an angel food cake without spilling on her perfect outfit, all the while exchanging witty banter with her famous friends. Jerry Springer would be that uncle who only comes over on special occasions, can only be handled in small doses, but never fails to deliver a good story.

Although the wide variety of television personalities and the convenience of learning about a new topic every day are both major attractions to talk shows, for me, the best part is that they are a live version of the magazines I used to read. Instead of reading vague descriptions about how to cook for a theme party with no intention of ever making a dish which remotely resembles the picture on the page, I can watch it on television from the comfort of my bed, sparing myself the humiliation of botched humus and burnt muffins. I can witness the tearful confession of a woman with a shopping addiction instead of reading her testimony in the pages of Redbook. I enjoy watching the interviews and the how-to’s while I sit in bed and do nothing. Thank you, Oprah, for explaining to me the dangers of dorm life. Thank you, Dr. Phil, for making me feel better about my own problems. And, finally, thank you, Tony Danza, for every episode in your short-lived career as a talk show host. You made my days a little brighter.

I have no plans any time soon to give up magazines or talk shows. While I will continue to expand my academic explorations, I refuse to sacrifice my guilty pleasures. This semester, I will spend hours studying Comm. Theory and memorizing Spanish verb conjugations; I deserve these breaks. As I muddle through my homework, I will continue to experiment with recipes and force-feed my boyfriend the cookies that looked so good in JANE Magazine. I am a person who enjoys reading for class, but also enjoys the occasional soft human interest story. My interest in magazines and talk shows may not make me a smarter person or a better person, but they have made me a person who is well-informed on current issues and how to make a face mask from kitchen supplies. Now if you excuse me, it’s Potluck Thursday with my sister, Rachael Ray.

tabaskoe1@lasalle.edu