Saturday morning

By Cory Anotado
Collegian Editor
October 3, 2007

Saturday is one of the most valued days of the week, and not because of the atrocities that are MadTV or, God forbid, Saturday Night Live. No, it is the day that celebrates American ideals best: Sleeping in until 1 p.m., then, maybe getting stuff done.

Yes, Saturday has an amazing and well-documented history in this great land. In 1775, George Washington was sitting around on a Saturday morning and said to his mom, “You know, it’d be kinda cool if we tore the chains of tyranny off of our fair land.” After permission from his mother, George Washington called a bunch of his buddies and started the American Revolutionary War. Years later, Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein were watching Wheel of Fortune with Chuck Woolery and said to their moms, “You know, I’m sick of people bugging campaign offices. It’d be cool to bust some heads open, figuratively.” After permission from their mothers, as well as a stop to get a juice box or two, Bob and Carl busted three gentlemen for the Watergate cover-up. Saturday is a very essential day.

Saturday in America has many different rituals. For most, the first ritual partaken of is the “Rising Up at or After Noon” ritual. It involves sleeping until your body wakes you up, or perhaps if your body wakes you up earlier than that, checking a nearby clock, computer or TV weatherman for the time and then going back to sleep.

If, perhaps, your body is less forgiving and wakes you up sometime around nine or 10, then the alternative ritual is partaken: the “Sitting in Your Pajamas, Eating a Bowl of Cereal and Watching Saturday Morning Cartoons” ritual. The value of this tradition has decreased in recent years as the quality of cartoons has diminished. In the heyday of modern Saturday morning cartoons, namely, the early-to-mid ‘90s, the lineup of the five major networks had shows like Animaniacs, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Darkwing Duck and Tiny Toon Adventures. These shows were the pinnacle of network television on Saturday mornings. Nickelodeon ushered in great shows like Rocko’s Modern Life and Doug, but as that generation grew up and started sleeping in later, the quality of shows diminished into what most scholars agree is pure crap.

After these two sacred rites, the rituals become more localized or specific to family or community. Many celebrate the “Let’s Clean the House Kids; No, Really, It’ll be Fun” ritual, while others partake in the “If We Keep Flipping Channels, We’re Bound to Find Something” tradition. A couple people celebrate the “A Bunch Of Colleges and Universities We’ve Never Attended are Playing Football, so Let’s Watch Them” ritual, while others still celebrate the “We Have All This Crap in Our House, So Let’s Put It On Our Lawn And Sell It” ritual every so often.

All in all, the Saturday is one of America’s pastimes, one which I, as an American, will never desecrate, unless “Write About 500 Words for Your College Newspaper” isn’t an actual ritual.

anotadoc1@lasalle.edu