Atkins in your face

By Nate Adams
Collegian Editor
February 6, 2008

For the past month, I’ve been eating nothing but meat and cheese. That’s right people; I’m on the Atkins diet, the hottest diet craze of 2003. Sure, I’m about five years late to the party, but I’m getting results none-the-less.

Besides the weight loss, Atkins has had some interesting side effects. One such side effect is that many of my friends, communication majors, business majors and English majors, have suddenly become dietary experts. I’ve heard people spout off more nutrition facts in a single lunch than I’ve heard them speak in class.

“That can’t be healthy!” they cry as a dig into their fourth order of chicken wings in four days. “You’re going to have heart failure!” they wail as I cut another slice of cheddar from my cheese wheel. “You’ll be dead by 40!” they lament as I put butter on my T-bone steak.

I get it. It’s hard to believe that a diet of meat and cheese can be anything but disastrous for a person. Hell, I have a hard time believing it myself. Anytime I need proof that this diet won’t put me in an early grave, I just look to my dad, Tony. Tony Adams has been on the Atkins diet for over five years, and he’s a fit as a fiddle. “Any man who doesn’t like the food on this diet has gender issues.” His blood pressure has actually gone down since the diet. And he’s looking quite svelte, too.

The thing that interests most people is the list of food I’m not allowed to have. It’s easier, instead, to list what is OK. All meats (chicken, pork, beef and fish, both shelled and unshelled) are fair game. Same with cheeses. Leafy green veggies are good, too. And I can have all the eggs I want.

As far as everything else goes? Don’t even think about it. No fruit or fruit juice. No carrots or tomatoes. No potatoes, which includes French fries. No bread, which is the nemesis of a man on Atkins. No sugary treats like candy, pie or pie-flavored candy. If it’s got carbs in it, I can’t touch it. Milk? Gone. Pasta? Psh, please.

Oh, and did I mention no beer for the first two weeks?

I’ll admit, seeing all of the forbidden items listed on paper is a bit daunting, but it really isn’t as hard as you think. Breakfast is a ham and cheese omelet, lunch can be a chicken Caesar salad (but no croutons) and dinner is a bunless bacon-cheeseburger (sadly, no ketchup). It might be different than your average student’s three-squares, but it can’t be that far off.

There are two big misconceptions about the diet, one of which I myself am guilty of believing. The first is that once on Atkins, you can never have carbs again. After a period of two weeks, when the Atkins diet is boot-camp hardcore about not having carbs, a person on the diet can pull back and gradually have a slice of bread or a glass of juice every now and again. Up to 60 grams per day after the first two weeks.

The second misconception is that a person can eat as much meat and cheese as they like without any sort of repercussion, which I have discovered is not true. Turns out, I can’t have steak three times a day without any sort of health problem. I can’t put butter on my cheese and eat it like dessert every night. The Atkins diet is really just like any other diet; it’s about limiting and moderation, self-control and reward.

If you happen to see someone sitting in Treetops, peeling the cheese off of pizza and putting it on a chicken breast, please don’t be alarmed. It’s hard to believe it, but I’m actually losing weight, and am not a crazy person.

adamsn1@lasalle.edu