Editor mixing it up; rocking the ’stache

By Nate Adams
Collegian Editor
March 19, 2008

No offense to the ladies, but the following is really meant for guys only. In the mean time, I’m sure Mandy Bee has written something this week that’ll be worth reading. Go check that out, we won’t take long.

OK, dudes.

Maybe I’m the only one who feels like this, but I think most of us can agree that we aren’t half as manly as we could be. I mean, just look at our fathers. Odds are good that they grew up in an era of constant nuclear threat and ever-present fear of domination and destruction, and they carried themselves like a generation of Steve McQueens. Nowadays, when the barista at Starbucks messes up the foam on our grande half-caff frappe-whatever, we are so terrified of confrontation that we’ll write a stern letter rather than correct her.

Look, I’m not suggesting we devolve into cavemen. The strides that have been made in equality and understanding far outweigh any false sense of masculinity. However, there is one thing that we can do to reclaim some of the authority and respect that the men of earlier, stronger generations not only deserved but commanded.

Grow a moustache.

I know what you’re thinking, but hear me out. The modern day moustache is seen as little more than an accessory at best, and most often seen as a punch-line. When an average fella tries to grow one, it’s often on a bet or a whim, as little more than a badge of irony or a conversation piece for bar-room white noise. Not many take that patch of hair between their upper lip and their nose very seriously and, as a result, no one else does either.

But this wasn’t always the case. As late as 40 years ago, a moustache was the supreme sign of authority and respect. A man walking down the street, sporting a thick stock of well-groomed (possibly waxed) facial hair was seen as someone you could count on, someone you could trust.

Sheriffs, cowboys, knights, solders etc; all of these positions, the models for masculinity that we all grew up with, rocked moustaches with reckless abandon. These men wore their facial hair with an air of power that suggested, nay, screamed to the general population, “I am a leader, I can help you.” The moustache is the original sign of strength and power, and unlike that “barbed-wire around the bicep” tattoo that took over as a sign of power in the ‘90s, a moustache doesn’t make you look like a total jackass.

Now I know not everyone can grown a sweet ’stache. Take me for example; despite weeks and weeks of effort and countless self-encouragement sessions in front of the mirror, I can’t even grow a proper beard, let alone a moustache. When my lip hair grows in, I end up looking more like an out of work ‘70s porn actor than a pillar of masculinity.

Still, I can’t deny that I feel more confident when I’m rocking the ‘stache. I can walk with my chest out and my shoulders wide, channeling the fighting spirit of the noble men before me, ready to handle any challenge that should be foolish enough to cross my path.

Gentlemen, I implore you. This spring, take back some of your heritage as men. This spring, grow a moustache.

adams1@lasalle.edu