Top 10 - South Park characters

By Mike McDonald
Collegian Staff
March 28, 2007

10) Towelie — Cartman calls him the worst character ever, but Towelie is actually quite amusing. He probably would have finished higher on the list, but one day he got high and just sort of wandered off. Plus, he was already high enough. Don’t forget to bring a towel!

9) Mr. Mackey — He is not a very good guidance counselor, probably because he is pretty stupid. His brief run-in with drugs is hilarious, but eventually his balloon-head comes crashing back down to earth. Mmmkay?

8) Randy Marsh — Stan’s dad is a strange dude. A former boy band star, he goes on to raise a nice family in South Park. Some of his experiences may not be completely normal, but every viewer felt sentimental when Mr. Marsh gave his virtual life to save his son while playing World of War Craft.

7) Officer Barbrady — Unskilled and unqualified, Officer Barbrady is not a good cop, but he still does his best to uphold the law in South Park. His hard work in learning to read paid off when he was able to solve the Chicken Lover case.

6) Timmy and Jimmy — Not exactly the most politically correct characters on the show, Timmy and Jimmy add another dimension to South Park. Jimmy’s unique style of delivery could make him the town’s best stand-up comic. And Timmy, well, TIMMAYYY!

5) Mr. Hanky — He comes once a year to spread joy, cheer and hygiene tips to South Park. Some people don’t believe in him, but the rest of us know that he not only exists, but that he loves us. HIDY HO!!!

4) Kenny — They say that cats have nine lives, but Kenny has thousands. He has been eaten by animals, impaled by sharp weapons and hit by blunt objects. But through it all, Kenny never loses his sense of humor. Poor Kenny, those bast****s just have it out for him.

3) Chef — The children always have problems that they can’t seem to figure out. So who can they turn to? Chef. Voiced by Isaac Hayes, Chef’s life revolves mostly around women, but he still makes time to cook up some food in the school cafeteria. Unfortunately for South Park fans, Chef is no longer on the show. What a big loss.

2) The Stotch family — Butters is a nice little kid who seems to find himself in tough spots all the time. His mother tries to kill him, and his father sends him away because he is bi-curious. He also is forced to relive his worst nightmare in a tap-dancing disaster that kills several people. Everyone knows it’s Butters. That’s me!

1) Cartman — Eric Cartman is deceitful, rude, disrespectful, offensive, foul, destructive, hateful, vengeful, prejudiced, self-centered and downright evil. But whether you love Cartman or hate him, you must respect his authoritah!

mcdonaldm2@lasalle.edu