Christmas film provides no out clause

By Frank Visco
Collegian Editor
November 14, 2007

Dear Vince Vaughn,

Let me get this out of the way: I like you. You’re a funny guy who can also act, but more importantly I enjoy a great deal of your work. With your mix of acerbic wit, don’t-give-a-sheesh bravado, and underplayed hilarity, you’re the closest thing my generation has to Bill Murray, and that’s pretty cool.

Swingers is classic, Old School was great and I’ve often said your hilarious performance in Wedding Crashers was worthy of an Oscar nomination. Looking beyond these beloved films, I really dig some of your other stuff too. Clay Pigeons and Return to Paradise are both solid, underrated films, and you’ve turned in a slew of great small supporting performances over the years in films as varied as Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Thumbsucker.

Ever since you blew up with Wedding Crashers, I’ve really admired how you’ve begun to take on more challenging material (going back to those mid-’90s roots). A lot of people disliked The Break-Up, citing that it wasn’t funny enough. But I always got the feeling it wasn’t supposed to be that funny, that it was a drama with comedy elements, and I admire the hell out of the fact that you were the one to get that film made. On top of that, you cast ego aside to take on a small role in Sean Penn’s Into the Wild, which was just a flat out cool thing to do.

With all that in mind, what the hell were you thinking producing and starring in a total turd of a movie like Fred Claus? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against family films or Christmas movies. I liked Elf; I’m willing to bet that movie convinced you to do this one. The logic makes sense: If your buddies Will Ferrell and director Jon Favreau can make loads of dough doing a Christmas comedy, why not you?

But seriously, this movie sucks harder than [dirty joke deleted - Editor].

Obvious physical gags and horrendous CGI elves are not funny individually, and, as this movie proves, they aren’t funny together either. But the film keeps going back to the elf well, as if getting beat up by Secret Service Elves was so funny the first time that people would be demanding an encore. Let me tell you, man, nobody wanted to see that comedic manure twice.

Of course, I’m being a tad too harsh. Every actor cashes in on occasion, and, elf scenes excluded, Fred Claus is agreeable in a lame sort of way. And I’ll give credit where credit’s due: the Siblings Anonymous bit is inspired. But the problem is that it’s the only inspired scene in the movie, which is a shame, because I totally believe a really cool movie could’ve resulted from this premise. I understand that you and your director David Dobkin shot for the PG rating to ensure mass appeal, but, considering the film bottomed out this weekend and probably won’t even clear $60 million domestically, you should’ve just gone for the hard R, a la Bad Santa. You and Dobkin have created a good film (Pigeons) and a great film (Crashers) in the realm of the R rating. Why change such a reliable formula?

This is especially true considering the cast you’ve managed to sign on for this film. With Paul Giamatti, Kevin Spacey, Kathy Bates and Rachel Weisz in the cast, you had a slew of great actors at your disposal (Oscar has lauded them with seven nominations and four wins). Why not challenge them in a substantial way?

Like I said; this could’ve been good. The general idea of being the overshadowed brother is ripe for a twisted dark comedy, especially when you’re raising the bar in the way this premise does. There could’ve been comedy gold here, with you and Giamatti going toe-to-toe with a script and characters worthy of your talents.

Speaking of Giamatti, why not go for broke and reimagine Santa as a prototypical Giamatti character instead of curtailing the man’s known screen image. Since he’s got a hottie assistant (Elizabeth Banks) walking around, the script could’ve maybe featured an adulterous Santa, or if not that specifically, then a Santa that has other real tics and flaws (outside of a painfully obvious eating disorder). And am I the only one who’s still wondering why the film never addressed how Fred feels about having to live forever? I understand that this was meant as a plot device, a throwaway line to explain why this all takes place in the 21st century, but come on, man. The audience deserves more than that.

Anyway, what’s done is done. Looking at IMDb I can see you’ve got several projects lined up, and while I have no idea how good any of them are, it looks like you’re getting back on track. Partnering up with Reese Witherspoon (in Four Christmases) and Owen Wilson (in Outsourced) can’t hurt, but the coolest-looking project on here is definitely The H-Man Cometh. David O. Russell’s brand of comedy would be a perfect fit for you, so you should get right on that.

As I said before, you’re the closest thing my generation has to the Murray of the ’80s. Please don’t go wasting your talent and our good will on bad films like Fred Claus. They’re beneath you.

Good luck,

Frank Visco.

viscof1@lasalle.edu