America's most tortured sports cities

By Andrew Neumann
Collegian Staff
November 1, 2006

Let’s face it: being a sports fan is generally a depressing experience.

There are only three ways in which your favorite teams’ seasons can go: 1) They stink all year, causing you anguish, 2) They either just miss the playoffs or get knocked out of them, causing you anguish, 3) They win the championship.

When it’s mapped out like this, and you’re faced with a one-in-30 chance of actually being happy about your team at the end of the season, it hardly seems worth it. This is compounded when you are a fan of teams from the same city, because a city-wide title drought can lead to regional despair.

Of course, some cities have had it worse than others. Some towns have experienced decades of unending pain, while others have watched the players on their teams douse one another with champagne innumerable times.

Here is my list of the three most tortured cities. I established three rules for the list to avoid confusion. First, I am only counting professional sports. Most cities have a litany of colleges, and that makes it tough to count one school’s history as a part of the entire city’s rooting interest. Second, I am not counting New York City as a candidate because of the large number of teams it encompasses. Some fans there have been deprived of winning, while others have celebrated. And finally, each city must have at least two professional sports teams in the city in order to qualify.

3. Buffalo. Want to get a Buffalo fan mad? Ask him which statement drives him crazier: “In the Crease” or “Wide Right.” The NHL’s Sabres and the NFL’s Bills have been a part of some of the most unforgettable moments in sports history, almost always on the losing side.

The Sabres lost the NHL Finals to the Dallas Stars in 1999 on a Bret Hull goal in triple overtime that should have been disallowed because Hull’s foot was in the crease. The goal stood and the call is considered one of the worst in sports history.

The Bills, on the other hand, are possibly the most troubled franchise in the history of sports. Not only have they lost four consecutive Super Bowls (the first of which was on a field goal that sailed wide right in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XXV), but they also experienced the “Music City Miracle” in the 1999 AFC Playoffs. The Tennessee Titans threw the ball across the field on a kickoff return and returned it for a touchdown.

The Bills franchise has never recovered and they have not made a Super Bowl appearance since then. But perhaps worst of all, the greatest player in Bills history is now a man that the franchise cannot use to promote the team’s legacy whatsoever. This man is O.J. Simpson, one of the best halfbacks of all time. Unfortunately, Simpson was accused of killing his wife 12 years ago. Despite being acquitted, he has been blackballed from any contact with the Bills organization.

2. Philadelphia. As is well known, the city has been dry of any sort of championship hardware since the Sixers title in 1983. Since then, each team has been to its league’s respective title game, but has come up empty-handed.

The Sixers have been up and down, but they got it together long enough to go to the NBA Finals in 2001. They were ultimately taken apart by the Los Angeles Lakers.

The Phillies are generally a model of how not to run an organization, except for the magical season of 1993, which ended when Joe Carter put a Mitch Williams pitch into the Skydome stands.

The Flyers make the playoffs every year, but have nothing to show for it.

And finally, the city’s most adored team, the Eagles, have not only been to four NFC Championships and a Super Bowl recently, they have watched their biggest free agent acquisition ever leave the team in turmoil. They have also had to watch every other team in their division win multiple Super Bowls since 1983. This has led many to call Philly the most tortured sports city. However, they are forgetting about one city that makes Philadelphia’s problems seem small-time.

1. Cleveland. As far as I’m concerned, the definition of sports fan misery is watching your team stink for years, then become good only to lose in a tragic fashion. This fits all three of Cleveland’s teams perfectly.

First is the NBA’s Cavaliers. Pedestrian throughout their existence, the Cavs built a solid team in the 1980s. However, this was at the exact same time that the Chicago Bulls were building a much more solid team. The Cavs and Bulls met in the playoffs in 1989 in a series eventually won by the Bulls on Michael Jordan’s shot over Craig Ehlo in which he famously leaps in the air and pumps his fist. This shot has been replayed on virtually every commercial since then, meaning Cavs fans have to relive their agony over and over.

On the baseball diamond, the Indians were terrible for roughly 40 years before finally capturing a pennant in 1995. They lost the World Series to the Braves in six games and then again in 1997 to the Marlins in seven games.

Finally, the Cleveland Browns, long the pride of Cleveland, were moved to Baltimore after the 1995 season by owner Art Modell. Although the Browns have been reinstated, the franchise-old pain still haunts the fans. In 1986, the Browns had the AFC Championship won until John Elway engineered “The Drive” to lead Denver to the Super Bowl. In 1987, Earnest Byner fumbled on the one-yard line to again send the Broncos to the Super Bowl. With no titles since 1964, I think it is safe to say that Cleveland is the most tortured sports city.

Coming soon: Least Tortured

neumanna1@lasalle.edu