Way out in Philadelphia, there was this fella I wanna tell ya about. Goes by the name of Tom Blessington. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. See, this Blessington, he called himself "Bear." Now, "Bear" - there's a name no man would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about Bear that didn't make a whole lot of sense. But then again, maybe that's why I found him so darned interestin'. Now this here story I'm about to unfold took place in late 2000 - just about the time of our conflict with Sad'm and the I-raqis. I only mention it because sometimes there's a man... I won't say a hero, 'cause, what's a hero? Sometimes, there's a man. And I'm talkin' about Bear here - Bear from Philadelphia. Sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's Bear. Bear, from Philadelphia. And even if he's a lazy man - and Bear was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in all of Philadelphia, which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide. Sometimes there's a man, sometimes, there's a man. Well, I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. I've done introduced it enough.