La Salle University Counselor Has Tips on How to Avoid Being Depressed on Valentine’s Day after a Break-up

Valentine’s Day can be particularly difficult if you have just experienced a breakup or divorce. “It is quite normal to feel depessed when going through this type of disruption in one’s life; a day that stresses ‘romance and relationships’ naturally intensifies and exacerbates the feelings connected to the breakup,” says Dr. Lane Neubauer, Associate Dean of Students: Counseling and Health Services at La Salle University in Philadelphia.

Rather than trying to ignore these feelings, which Neubauer says usually doesn’t work, she suggests people identify what they are feeling, whether it’s depression, sadness and/or anger and to not be afraid of these feelings. Facing feelings helps to work them through, she says.

Following are tips from Dr. Neubauer that can help you emotionally survive the day:

• Give yourself permission to treat yourself in special way. This is the time to be kind to oneself. Treat yourself to something you’ve been wanting for a long time.

• Surround yourself with supportive friends who you can talk openly with about what you are feeling.

• Exercise and massage are also beneficial to improving one’s spirits. Both release chemicals in the body that have positive impact on one’s mood.

• Channel your feelings in constructive ways. Play loud music if you are angry, write in a journal if you feel depressed, talk to a friend if you feel lonely, etc.

• Pay attention to your attitude; avoid any self deprecating thoughts. Instead, force yourself to think of the benefits and opportunities that may open up due to these changes in your life circumstances.

• Finally, remember Valentine’s day is only 24 hours long and when you wake up tomorrow, it will be a whole year before Valentine’s day roles around again.

-- Jennifer Portante