The Vitamen:

The Followers of the Greatest Cereal Leader Ever.

Our Leader. Beautiful, isn't he?
[Who We Are | The Sacred Scriptures | Pictures! ]

Who We Are:

We are a small, dedicated group of followers of King Vitaman. Who is King Vitaman? King Vitaman, in the words of Sir Lally the Delicious,

In my own experience, I am unable to directly describe who King Vitaman is. One must experience Him to truly Know Him. The best way to know Him is to Experience the Scriptures.

The Sacred Scriptures:
The Book of Riddles
1:1 What time is it when the King's Feet Hurt?
1:2 Which of King Vitaman's knights weighs 300 pounds?
1:3 What runs around the King's Castle?
1:4 What is the King's favorite cereal?
1:5 How much cereal does the Kingdom eat each day?
1:6 What is the King's favorite sporting event?
 The Book of Answers
1:1 Time to change his shoes!
1:2 Sir Lunch-A-Lot!
1:3 Mice!
1:4 King Vitaman!
1:5 Moatloads!
1:6 Dragon racing!
The Book of the Knighthood

In the beginning, there was the King. And the King was Real. And the King was photographed, and the Photograph was put on the box.
And the product sold, and the makers were happy, for they were concerned only with profits of the earth.

Time passed and the man slowly drifted out of favor with the people, who did not realize that he was Real. The Makers saw this and were corrupted for they were not pure of heart due to their desires of earthly rewards. The makers plotted a return to their former-lofty state. They decided to change the Photograph, and to this end they crafted an icon. A Golden Calf was constructed and mounted to the box. The Calf became known as the icon. And the icon was graven.

The product sold, yet some of the people were not happy. These people formed the beginnings of the Knighthood of King Vitaman. The Knighthood embarked on that night to right this wrong, to restore the King to the rightful box to which he should reside.
It was on that night that a brotherhood of knights was instated. They were to protect the King in whatever forms neccessary. To become a knight, it was decided that one had to study the sacred scriptures, especially the Book of Riddles. Within the Riddles lie the true essence of being a Knight of King Vitaman.

The original knights, formed by Sir Steve, the Leader (or to some as he is known, Sir Puns-A-Lot from Punnsylvania), numbered 5, and one Lady. They were:

  • Sir Steve, the Leader
  • Sir Greway, the Gi-normous
  • Sir Lally, the delicious
  • Sir DeMizio, the technical
  • Sir Warner, the Gritsmaster of the South
  • Lady MT, the Full
  • Lady in Waiting Angie, from the land of Product 19

I Like Pork

this is all we believe
The Pictures of the Sacred Tasting:

On October 12, 2000 at 8:33:45PM EDT, with the moon in its second phase, and pisces watching out for well-wishers, for they secretly desire more than what they say, Sir Greway the Gi-normous tasted for the first time, King Vitaman with Milk. Here are the sacred pictures:

Sir Greway reports a Corn Chex vibe, with the after-milk tasting like ass.



VITAMAN IS TRUTH.

That is all one needs to know.

demizim1@lasalle.edu